程赛男《老王病危》俞花译

程赛男

Laowang Is Terminally Ill
By/Sainan  Cheng

Again Laowang had his dream,where his old couple was sewing a jacket for him, the oldest child was massaging, the second child was rubbing his back,and so on.However,the fifth child fought again,then Laowang grabbed a stick and chased him, yet fell to the ground with a slump.
Awakened Laowang bursted into loud sobs,holding the Family Portrait.
After the death of his wife, LaWang widowed for more than a decade years. His five sons went out to work from north to south. They even have to work overtime at the Spring Festival as they said,so that LaoWang couldn't see them throughout the year.
Just in sad LaoWang heard LaoYu call him to play mahjong, he wiped tears on his face, put on a jacket,then went out.
On the road,funeral music and suona sounded suddenly,LaoWang wondered who died.
The fact is that at midnight of yestersay, Granny Wu died in sleep.Very soon all her family member, children and grandchildren, gathered and returned.
Gathered together? So fast? LaoWang muttered.
Hard to see children when alive,however, all gather when one dies. What is the meaning of life?
After returning home,LaoWang tossed and turned restlessly.Suddenly, he laughed,then soon got up and called LaoYu to meet.They said so and so.
Then LaoYu phoned LaoWang's sons one by one and told everyone that LaoWang was critically ill.
The next day，at noon，LaoWang's sons all returned with grandchildren.One after another they cried for their filial piety,expressed regret for rarely returning home to take care of their father.
LaoWang pretended to cough severely. Children and grandchildren hurried to send for a doctor, carry water, massage,rub back,and so on.LaoWang's heart began to blossom.
After checking, the doctor said with a smile that there is nothing wrong including his lung.
Stammered,LaoWang uttered,I ... I just want to ... see children and grandchildren. Then it is followed as such.
Grandpa, are you indeed not in danger?
Dad, you have such a bad joke with us? Do you know how much money we spend on returning so far? More than ten thousand for tickets!
Despite our job delays,your grandchildren's homework can not be delayed.
Hardly hearing all words above,LaoWang's veins begin to burst, spitting out blood and  fainting.
After touching LaoWang's pulse, turning the eyelids, Doctor sinks face and say that LaoWang is in danger.


Translated by Yu Hua


老王病危
文/程赛男

        老王又做梦了。
         老伴为他缝棉袄，老大为他按摩，老二为他捶背……
         老五又打架了，老王操起棍子追着他打，一个趔趄摔倒在地上。
         惊醒后的老王抱着全家福嚎啕大哭。

        老伴过世后，老王寡居了十几年，五个儿子天南地北地打工，一年到头见不着人影，就连春节也要忙加班。
         正伤心着，老俞来喊他搓麻将，老王擦干脸上的泪痕，披上棉袄走岀门。
        路上忽听哀乐唢呐吹响，老王纳闷，又谁死了？
         昨晚深更半夜，吴家老娘睡梦中死了。这不，儿孙都聚齐了。
         聚齐了？这么快？老王喃喃。
         活着难见上儿孙一面，死了就全都齐了。你说人这一辈子有啥意思？
         搓完麻将回到家，老王躺在床上翻来覆去睡不着，忽然，他笑了起来，打电话喊来老俞，如此这般说了一通。
        老俞一一给老王的儿子们打电话说，老王病危。
         第二天中午儿子们拖妻带子全都到了，一个个哭诉自己不孝，后悔没有常回家多照顾老爹。
         老王佯装咳嗽很厉害的样子。儿孙们赶紧请医生、端水、按摩、捶背……老王心里乐开了花。
        医生给老王做完检查，笑着说，心肺都好着呢，没啥大毛病。
        老王结结巴巴地说，我……我就是想……想见见儿孙。
        爷爷，你没病危啊？
         爹，这玩笑可开不得，我们来去一趟花多少钱啊？飞机票都一万多。
        工作耽误事小，孩子们的功课可耽误不起……

        只见老王青筋暴起，口吐血沫，晕了过去。
         医生摸了摸老王的脉搏，翻了翻他的眼皮，沉下脸说，大爷病危。

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