想不开就使劲想/聆海(赵金基译）

程思良

想不开就使劲想/聆海
　　
　　结婚不到半年，老Ｋ的媳妇就生了一个儿子，老Ｋ抱着儿子傻乐。有人调侃他，你媳妇提速了，真有能耐！老Ｋ脸一红。
　　一天老Ｋ喝着酒，看着儿子趴在媳妇的大奶子上一脸幸福的样子，老Ｋ醉眼迷离地说，为什么，我想不开呀！
　　媳妇柳叶眉一竖，想不开就使劲想！
　　老Ｋ使劲想想，有点想开了。
　　老Ｋ给儿子的百日照做了一个精致的相框，放在办公桌醒目的位置上。局长过来闲转，看到照片问，你儿子？老Ｋ看了看虎头虎脑的儿子照片，又看了看虎头虎脑的局长说，是呀，我儿子。这小子真能吃，喜欢吃外国奶粉。我这个小科员挣的钱就不够用了。局长哈哈一笑，拍着老Ｋ的肩说，好好干。
　　不久，老Ｋ升任科长。
　　老Ｋ科长给儿子的周岁照做了一个更加精致的相框，放在办公桌醒目的位置上。局长没事就常过来转。
　　转来转去，局长就退休了。已是副局长的老Ｋ回到家里，叫媳妇做了一桌子菜喝酒。半醒半醉间老Ｋ对媳妇说，离婚吧。
　　媳妇看老Ｋ不像开玩笑，着急地问，为什么，我想不开呀！
　　老Ｋ醉眼一瞪，想不开就使劲想！
　　媳妇使劲想想，就和老Ｋ离了。
　　
　　Think It Hard
　　
　　By Linghai
　　
　　In less than half a year after the wedding, Mr. K’s wife gave birth to a son, which made him delighted and proud. “You’ve married an efficient and productive wife.” When someone teased him, Mr. K would turn red.
　　One day Mr. K was drinking when he saw his happy son feeding on the titanic breast of his wife. “Why? I can’t figure it out!” said Mr. K, a trifle tipsy.
　　“Think it hard, and you’ll figure it out!” Her arched eyebrows became erect.
　　Thinking it hard, Mr. K felt enlightened a little.
　　On the hundredth day after his son’s birth, Mr. K took a picture of the baby and had it delicately framed. The picture was strikingly put on Mr. K’s desk in the office. Director General came and saw the picture. “Your son?” Director General asked. “Sure. He has a really good appetite, especially for imported powdered milk. It’s hard on the wallet for a clerk like me.” said Mr. K, fixing his eyes first on the picture of his son then on his superior, both of whom looked dignified and strong. “Work hard.” Director General laughed as he patted Mr. K on the shoulder.
　　Soon Mr. K got promoted to Section Chief.
　　On his son’s first birthday, Mr. K, Section Chief, took a picture of the boy and had it more delicately framed. The picture was strikingly put on the desk of his office, which Director General frequented in much leisure.
　　As time wore away, Director General retired. One day Mr. K, who had been deputy director, came home and asked his wife to prepare a banquet. They drank until Mr. K became half drunk. “Let’s get a divorce.” said Mr. K to his wife, half awakening.
　　“Why? I can’t figure it out!” She asked anxiously as she decided that Mr. K was not joking.
　　“Think it hard and you’ll figure it out!” roared Mr. K, with a glare.
　　Thinking it hard, she agreed.
　　

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