一件小事/张军青(赵金基译）

程思良

一件小事/张军青
　　
　　律师潇洒、倜傥，夸夸其谈：“听清了我的问题你再回答，只要说是或者不是就可以了，知道吗？”
　　“知道了。”被告矮小、猥琐，言辞木讷。
　　“先是原告买你的梨，后来不想要了，换了你的苹果，是不是？”
　　“是。”
　　“然后，原告又不想要苹果了，想用自己的苹果换你的香蕉，你也同意了，是不是？”
　　“是。”
　　“现在是你留下了苹果，却不惜跟原告吵架也不肯将香蕉交付原告，是不是？”
　　“是。”
　　法官问自愿跟来的众证人:“是这样的吗？”
　　众人确确实实看到并听到了苹果换香蕉的一幕，答：“是。”
　　本案事实清楚，证据确凿，法官当庭宣判：香蕉归原告所有。
　　这点小事也到法院，法官感到可笑；完了一个案子，律师感到轻松；又得到了便宜，原告有些得意；伸张了正义，众证人感到欣慰；只有被告心中感到烦闷和惆怅：可是，可是，原告还没有给我梨钱啊！
　　“这简直就是个笑话，可是，这个笑话却实实在在的发生了，说实话，我笑不出来。我请大家都拍着胸口想想，这些年，类似这样的案子还有没有！”
　　两年后，一位代表在人大会上拍起了桌子。
　　
　　Small Case
　　
　　By Zhang Junqing
　　
　　The counselor was handsome, stylish and eloquent. “Answer my question when you hear it clearly. Just say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Are you clear?”
　　“Yes.” The defended was short, obscure and numb.
　　“The accuser was first to buy your pears; then he changed his mind and took your apples. Is it true?”
　　“Yes.”
　　“Later the accuser changed his mind again and offered the apples for your bananas. You agreed, didn’t you?”
　　“Yes.”
　　“Now it’s you who have taken the apples and would rather quarrel with the accuser than give the bananas. Isn’t that the case?”
　　“Yes.”
　　Then the judge asked the voluntary witnesses, “Is that the case?”
　　“Yes.” The crowd replied in unison. Indeed, they were all on the scene when the accuser was offering the apples for the bananas.
　　With the incident being clear, the witness convincing, the judge declared at once, the bananas should belong to the accuser.
　　What a small case in the courthouse! The judge felt somewhat ridiculed. The counselor felt a relief at closing another case. The accuser was contented with the petty gain. The witnesses were proud to have done justice. Only the defended felt irritated and melancholy, “But, but the accuser didn’t pay for the pears at all!”
　　“What a joke! Yet it was a true happening. To be honest, I don’t think it funny. Please, feel your hearts and think it over, for the past years, haven’t you ever dealt with cases like this?”
　　This statement was made two years later by a representative of the People’s Congress.

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