我是局长/冯春生(赵金基译）

程思良

我是局长/冯春生
　　
　　局里喂着一条很厉害的看门狗，这狗是白色的，很厉害。
　　局里每有新职工到，总要被这白狗咬一口。
　　张三刚来时，张三不小心，张三被看门的白狗在小腿上咬了一口。
　　李四刚来时，李四不小心，李四被看门的白狗在大腿上咬了一口。
　　王麻子刚来时，听说局里有条很厉害的白狗，就处处小心，他还专门买了火腿来讨好白狗，可白狗乖乖地吃了他的火腿后，乘他不注意，还是咬了他的屁股。
　　局里新换了一位局长，姓白，白局长。
　　白局长这天初到单位，大伙手心里都捏着一把汗——担心他被狗咬。
　　白局长的车进了单位院子停下，他一下车，就见一条白狗汪汪汪，大吼着冲了上来。白局长看见一条白狗冲自己扑来，猛地一呲牙，吼了一声，我是局长。
　　也怪，那狗立马停住了吼声停住前扑，竟给白局长摇开了尾巴……
　　人们松开了紧握的手放下了吊起的心……
　　人们说，这白局长厉害了，狗也怕……
　　还有人说，白狗不咬白局长，他们都姓白……
　　一日，白局长因痔疮要做手术，他在医院手术室里脱下了裤子，人们发现他屁股上面长着一条小尾巴，而且看着医生在摇……
　　
　　Director General
　　
　　By Feng Chunsheng
　　
　　A fierce white watch dog was kept at the door of the office building.
　　Every new employee who came to report would suffer a bite.
　　When Zhang San first arrived, he happened to be bitten in the calf by the white dog.
　　When Li Si first arrived, he happened to be bitten in the thigh by the white dog.
　　When Wang Mazi first arrived, he was cautious enough since he had heard about the fierce dog. He had even gone out of his way to buy hams for playing up to the white dog. However, he was bitten on the buttock by the dog when it had tamely consumed his hams and removed his caution.
　　Then arrived the new boss, Director General, whose surname was Bai, in Chinese meaning “white”.
　　When Director General first came to his office, every one’s palm was sweating in fear that the new boss would be bitten by the dog.
　　When the car stopped, Director General got out, only to be welcomed by the white dog barking violently. Seeing the dog run at him, Director General suddenly bared his teeth and shouted, “I am Director General!”
　　Strange enough, the dog stopped barking and stood there wagging its tail.
　　Every one felt a relief.
　　“Director General is so awesome that even a dog fears him.” Some said.
　　“The white dog doesn’t bite Director General, because they share the same surname.” Some others said.
　　To be operated on his hemorrhoid one day, Director General took off his pants in the operating room, so that a short white tail between his buttocks was seen wagging to the doctor.
　　

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