投诉/白子捷(赵金基译）

程思良

投诉/白子捷
　　
　　他是“大哥”，地面上有名的地赖泼皮。
　　他和几个哥们坐在马路边晒太阳、看女人。
　　一个男人摇摇晃晃朝他走来，站在他面前。
　　“干啥？”他问，“滚，没钱！”
　　“我不是乞丐，不要钱。”那个男人说，“我们领导太欺负人了，请您给我评评理……
　　“评理？你投诉呀？”他十二分惊讶地说，“你找错人、找错地方了！”
　　他和几个哥们嘎嘎大笑起来。
　　那个男人呜呜哭了。
　　“所有的地方我都去过了，没理可讲！”那个男人说，“天下乌鸦一般黑！”
　　他又和几个哥们嘎嘎大笑起来。
　　“你给多少钱？”他说，“修理你们领导我收‘保护费’！”
　　那个男人愣一下。
　　“我没钱，”那个男人一把鼻涕一把泪地说，“请您看在老天爷的份儿上……
　　“滚！”他怒吼一声站起来说，“没钱滚蛋！再罗嗦抽你！”
　　他带几个哥们走了。
　　那个男人扑通一声跪下，对他刚才坐过的地方咚咚咚磕响头……
　　
　　Big Brother
　　
　　By Bai Zijie
　　
　　Big Brother rules over this region.
　　Big Brother, as well as several of his boys, sits on the curb under the sunshine, watching the ladies passing by.
　　A man swings along and stops in front of Big Brother.
　　“You ask for money?” says Big Brother, “No way! Just step out of my eyes!”
　　“I don’t beg for money,” says the man, “I pray for justice, for my boss is a bully who…”
　　“Justice? Why not sue that bastard?” says Big Brother in utter amazement, “You’ve come to the wrong place, for the wrong person!”
　　Both Big Brother and his boys begin to laugh frantically.
　　The man sobs.
　　“All places I have frequented, yet there is no justice!” says the man, “All crows are black!”
　　Again Big Brother and his boys burst out laughing.
　　“How much will you pay?” says Big Brother, “I am to charge for protecting you!”
　　The man is stunned.
　　“I have no money.” Says the man in sobs, wiping his nose. “For Heaven’s sake, …”
　　“Step away!” growls Big Brother as he rises. “No money, no protection; stop your nagging and step out of my eyes!”
　　Big Brother goes off with his boys.
　　The man kneels and kowtows to the curb where Big Brother sits.

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