呼噜大王/李朝振(赵金基译）

程思良

呼噜大王/李朝振
　　
　　老胡打呼噜厉害，呼噜声震得一墙之隔的邻居家都睡不着，人送绰号——呼噜大王。
　　老胡最怕出差，住旅店经常吵得同房间的人睡不好觉。
　　一方面别人讨厌他，另一方面他怕影响别人自己也睡不好。
　　省里开会，老胡打呼噜属“知名人士”，每次都住单间。
　　这次也不例外，一人住单间。
　　不一会儿，会务组同志来和老胡商量：“我们工作不细，少要了一个房间，一个打呼噜的同志没法安排，不如你们俩住一个房间，比比看谁打呼噜的水平高。”
　　老胡深知打呼噜被人歧视的苦楚、难处，颇有同情心，表示同意。
　　晚上老胡让同屋的人先睡，自己在大街上转悠到半夜。
　　回到宾馆，没进屋就能听到那人的呼噜声，鼾声如雷，一会儿像喷气式战斗机俯冲轰炸，一会儿又像重型坦克轰隆隆冲来……老胡佩服，此人道行高，称得上真正的呼噜大王。
　　老胡遇到高手辗转反侧睡不着，苦熬到两点，又累又乏处与昏迷状态，什么都不知道睡着了。
　　一觉醒来已是八点，已不见同屋高手，老胡一看迟到了，顾不上吃早点直奔会场。
　　会议已经开始，会务组同志过来，把老胡叫出会场说：“我们工作不细，没想到出了这样的岔子，昨晚和你同屋一起睡的同志，没休息好，心脏病犯了，现在正在医院抢救呢，麻烦你帮忙收拾一下他的东西送过去。”
　　
　　
　　Snore King
　　
　　By Li Chaozhen
　　
　　Lao Hu snores so hard that even his next door neighbor complains of his roaring snores, thus being nicknamed Snore King.
　　What fears Lao Hu most is going on a business trip, during which his snores tend always to disturb his roommates.
　　On one hand, he is disliked; on the other hand, he himself doesn’t sleep well in fear of disturbing others.
　　As a celebrity for his snores, he is entitled to a single room whenever attending a conference in the capital city.
　　Now he was staying in a single room when a member of the organization group came consulting with him, “It’s our fault not to have reserved one more single room; there is another comrade who snores equally hard. Do you mind if you two share this room and perhaps compete for the title of Snore King?”
　　Considering his own agony and annoyance of being discriminated, Lao Hu agreed in much sympathy.
　　At bedtime, Lao Hu left his roommate sleeping while he was lingering along the street till midnight.
　　Hardly had he entered the hotel room when Lao Hu heard that man snoring thunderingly. For one time he sounded like a jet fighter dropping bombs, for another like a heavy-type tank rumbling along. For these superb snores, Lao Hu, from the bottom of his heart, admired his roommate to be the real Snore King.
　　With this rival, Lao Hu was rolling and tossing on his bed until 2 a.m. when he finally fell asleep in a state of being exhausted and unconscious.
　　It was already 8 o’clock when he woke up to find his rival out of sight. Being late, Lao Hu hurried to the conference hall without his breakfast.
　　The conference had started. A member of the organization group came over ushering Lao Hu out of the conference hall. “It’s our fault not to have straightened everything out; the other comrade in your room had a heart attack because of his failure to have a good rest last night. He’s now being treated in the emergency room. Will you help collect his stuff and take care of him in hospital?”
　　

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