醉酒/冯铭(赵金基译）

程思良

醉酒/冯铭
　　
　　柳强不喝酒，原因是，每喝即醉。
　　五年前林子结婚，柳强去吃了喜酒。席间，柳强却大醉，后不省人事……
　　夜里，柳强猛吐了一地，吐得满屋皆是酒气。那酒气散至林里，引来林里一只松鼠。那松鼠从虚掩的门缝里进来，饱食柳强之秽物后，即刻也醉了。醉了的松鼠，便跟柳强做了同居者，柳强于床上吹一回鼾声，松鼠在地上就蹬一回腿。下夜里柳强起来喝水，松鼠居然还在地上酣睡，对柳强的凝视连腿也不蹬一下，柳强说：“狗日的个杂种！老子这心里要的……你也来抢？真个不要脸的东西！”柳强骂后，随即又上床睡去。
　　次日上午，柳强清理毕屋子，有同事就过来寻他趣儿，问：“柳强，昨夜里你在骂谁？”“松鼠。”“松鼠咬了你？”“它吃了我吐的秽物后也醉了。”“敢情你的酒量比那松鼠强了？”“可我却不如林子！”
　　五年后，柳强才得以与一女子结婚，婚礼当天柳强又醉，却不吐。朋友便惊讶其酒量上长，柳强同事即作如此说明，那同事说：“柳强的酒量其实也未长，仍是每喝即醉每醉必吐的。此醉为何不吐呢？是此醉愉悦，而彼醉痛苦，故而此醉不吐！”
　　朋友又问：“既然其妻水花为二婚者，柳强又何来愉悦呢？”那同事顿了顿说：“这个，我就说不清楚了。”
　　
　　Being Drunk
　　
　　By Feng Ming
　　
　　Liu Qiang seldom drinks, for he tends readily to be drunk.
　　Five years ago, at Lin Zi’s wedding, Liu Qiang got drunk unconsciously.
　　That night, Liu Qiang threw up, causing his room to smell of wine. The odor swept along and drew a squirrel out of the woods. Sliding into the room via the slit of the door, the squirrel ate its fill and got drunk as well. Then the drunk squirrel slept in the room as Liu Qiang’s partner; every time Liu Qiang blew a snore on his bed, the squirrel would move its legs on the floor. After midnight, Liu Qiang got up to drink water, only to find the squirrel still sleeping soundly, without any movement even under a close gaze. “Son of a bitch! You are taking my sweetheart! What a shame!” With this Liu Qiang reverted to sleeping on bed.
　　“Liu Qiang, who were you cursing last night?” asked one colleague jokingly, who came around the next morning when Liu Qiang finished cleaning his room.
　　“The squirrel.”
　　“Did the squirrel bite you?”
　　“The squirrel ate my vomitus and got drunk too.”
　　“So to speak, you are much better at drinking than the squirrel.”
　　“But I’ve lost to Lin Zi!”
　　Not until five years later did Liu Qiang marry Shui-hua. At his wedding, Liu Qiang got drunk but didn’t throw up. His friends were all surprised.
　　“Liu Qiang is what he used to be. Whenever drinking, he gets drunk; once drunk, he throws up. Why didn’t he throw up this time? The reason is he’s got drunk in a happy drinking instead of a miserable drinking.” explained his colleague.
　　“How come this is a happy drinking since he has married a divorced woman?” continued his friends.
　　“This, I can not tell.” said the colleague, after a pause.
　　

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